College admissions: What high school students want their parents to know

• I taught high school students for 10 years and often heard their complaints about college admissions.
• Most students want their parents to know that they, too, are stressed about having to pay for college.
• They also want to choose their own field, and some do not even want to go to university.

I was a teacher for 10 years and many more high school students he took refuge in my classroom at lunchtime. They showed me and each other photos of their new dog and argued about the ethics of Taylor Swift concert ticket prices. They also did a significant amount of ventilation; most often, they complained that their parents “didn’t understand” when it came to college.

as young parent I myself knew the difficult dilemma faced by both parents and children – the struggle of wills and goals, finances and friendship. I understood both sides of the argument as families grappled with issues such as cost, distance and reputation.

First of all, I noticed how my students she wanted her parents to hear her. They wanted a little more understanding and less advice.

Here’s what I learned by listening to mine students studying at the university.

Children want to choose their field of study and do not want their parents’ involvement

This is the first question that is completely new college student gets repeatedly: What is your major?

This can be difficult choose direction meeting all requirements for students and parents. Parents want their children to choose a wise direction that can be translated into the business world and will be future-proof. Meanwhile, students want their field of study to be interesting, sometimes creative and consistent with their dreams. For some, it’s their first chance to learn something they’re passionate about, compared to the grind of required high school courses.

Related stories

I overheard many conversations of students who planned to start with their parents’ idea of ​​the best field of study and then change their field of study. academic careers to what they wanted.

Bottom line: some students don’t feel heard about their primary choice and feel judged because their parents don’t think it’s the “right” path. Opening a dialogue with students can help them understand what they really want to do.

They want to follow their friends to college

As any parent of teenagers can attest, friends are life. He’s not just someone to hang out with here and there; they are of fundamental importance adolescent development and even happiness.

I have seen many groups of students choose the same university so as not to get separated. I watched as girls and guys followed their own love interests throughout the country.

This was definitely one of the hardest ones for parents because, as most parents know, friendships and relationships come and go easily at this age, but choosing a school is much more lasting.

Bottom line: It’s natural for students to want to follow their friends and apply to the same universities. Some people are ashamed of it or try to hide that this is the real reason they want to go to a particular school. Parents have to talk to their children understand why they are drawn to certain schools.

Children are also stressed about finances and studies

Students and parents are worried about money. Some of the conversations I overheard included: “I’m worried that my mom is trying pay for studies when she doesn’t have enough money anymore”, “I have to come up with this FAFSA because I know my parents won’t help” and “I’ll be in debt forever, but what other choice do I have?”

The teenagers I worked with were generally hardworking and really hated the stereotype that their generation was lazy and didn’t want to work for their future. They think deeply about their college plans and how to finance those dreams. The problem becomes even greater as tuition increases.

Conclusion: students and parents students who had open and honest conversations about money performed best and provided students with less stress and more opportunities to plan – even if it meant they had to pay for it themselves.

Some students just don’t want to go to college

Sometimes I heard, “I don’t even want to go to college, but I can’t tell my parents.”

As a teacher, this was extremely difficult to hear because it was the ultimate sign that the student could not openly share their preferred path – whether it was travel, teaching for America, mission trips, manual labor, or technical school.

Some students kept it a secret, wasting thousands of dollars (their own or their families’) to drop out a year later. Others continued on the university track, but were unhappy throughout. The family’s disappointment was a heavy burden to bear.

Bottom line: start by discussing the “ifs” and “nots” of when a student could go to college, honestly presenting other reasonable options, and path to success.

Open communication is essential

Generally, kids really want to impress their parents and prove that they can succeed at their dream school. All this can be achieved more easily if parents and study children are open to conversations.

I hope that when my children get to this stage, I will remember to tell them that among the FAFSA forms, the Common Application, college visitsand planning for the future, our relationship will be more important than any college decision.