A year after the Maine massacre, survivors and loved ones are looking for a new beginning

LEWISTON, Maine – Ben Dyer was he shot five times in Maine’s deadliest mass shooting when the gunman killed 18 people in the bowling alley and bar.

One year later, Dyer and fiancée Keela Smith are looking to turn the worst day of their lives into the best.

As Lewiston getting ready to mark the gloomy first anniversary Friday Dyer and Smith look to the future with hope. Dyer proposed to Smith that spring, encouraged by his new outlook on life and determined not to hold back. They chose October 25 for next year’s wedding date, the same day on which the photos were taken. They want that day back.

“May this always be a good reminder for us. Something that we don’t dread every year and doesn’t break our hearts every year,” Smith said. “Because it’ll be like, ‘Oh, it’s our wedding day.’ This is the day we have reclaimed and made it ours.”

The couple, both 48, are among dozens of people directly affected by the shooting who are still dead trying to find ways work through physical and emotional trauma. For many, the anniversary brings back unwanted memories.

“I have nightmares every day,” said Megan Vozzella, 39, whose husband, Steve Vozzella, was murdered at the Schemengees Bar & Grille. “I will always have nightmares. As we get closer, I don’t sleep well.

Megan says her husband managed to crawl outside before he died. Thinking about him in pain and trying to bear it gives her nightmares.

Vozzella, who is deaf, speaks through a sign language interpreter. Her husband was one of four deaf people who died while playing cornhole in a bar. Megan went to the same school as all three of them and they all knew each other well.

Megan and Steve were two weeks away from celebrating their first wedding anniversary when Steve died. They met in 2009 and met on a camping trip, something they still loved doing together. They have a 13-year-old daughter, Bella. That night, Megan lost her husband and much of her community.

“We thought we would have a future, raising a family and growing old together. And they all just disappeared,” she said. “The world is turned upside down.”

Lewiston is planning an anniversary ceremony on Friday to honor the victims, survivors, first responders and others affected by the tragedy. The evening will be filled with music, speeches and two moments of silence.

Filming began just before 7 p.m. at the Just-In-Time Recreation bowling alley. Armed with a semi-automatic rifle equipped with a scope and a laser, Army reservist Robert Card killed eight people in 45 seconds. He then drove 4 miles to a bar where he killed another 10 people. He later killed himself.

“We were just a bunch of people hanging out and doing something we loved,” recalled Dyer, who played cornhole at the bar. “Eating snacks and food, having a few drinks and throwing bags. And then all hell broke loose.”

Dyer was lying on the ground after being shot, trying to stop the blood flowing from his right arm. He looked up and saw Card staring at him. As the gunman took aim, Dyer raised his arms and tilted his head back, saving him from the fatal shot. He closed his eyes and tried not to breathe.

Dyer lost a finger and the use of his right hand. Currently, I buy clothes that are a size too big so that I can put them on more easily with one hand. He’s still figuring out how to cook and throw bags with holes in them with his left hand. Every time he looks at his scars in the shower or clumsily buttons his shirt, they remind him of them.

“I still live in that day,” he said. “But I’m alive.”

The board of inquiry found that in the months before the shooting, neither the military nor the police had managed to seize Card’s gun, even though he knew his mental health was deteriorating and he had made ominous threats. There are currently about 100 survivors and relatives of the victims taking steps to file a lawsuit Army.

Since the shooting, Maine has tightened its “yellow flag” law. and made other changes to gun laws. But he did not ban assault weapons, as some supporters wanted.

In June, the US Surgeon General declared that gun violence had occurred: public health crisis. Dr. Vivek Murthy said Americans want to be able to go to school, a supermarket or a house of worship without fear of being killed. He called for a ban on assault weapons and high-capacity magazines for civilian use.

Dyer, who like many people in rural Maine enjoys hunting, said his experience hasn’t changed his views on guns.

“Your car can be a deadly weapon if you want it to be if you drive it into a parade and mow people down,” he said. “So my approach to weapons is no different. I still have them and I still buy them.”

As Dyer speaks on the porch of his Auburn home, gunshots are heard in the woods behind him. Dyer said the volleys didn’t bother him because they were so far away. In fact, he said, he’s excited to learn how to hunt again, this time using only his left hand.

Like Dyer, Vozzella doesn’t see guns as a problem, instead blaming failures in the mental health system. She is furious with the police and military for not confiscating Card’s gun before the massacre.

“They missed a lot of opportunities,” she said.

Vozzella’s daughter is still afraid to go to school, afraid that a shooter might show up. Vozzella stated that it was a difficult year for them, but they found solace in going camping and spending time with family and friends.

Vozzella shows off a tattoo on her arm she got shortly after the shooting – a heart with angel wings and the words “In Loving Memory Stephen M. Vozzella.”

“It never gets easier,” she said. “It won’t be easy to move on for the rest of my life. But each day I slowly move on and find a new normal.

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Associated Press journalists Rodrique Ngowi, Robert F. Bukaty, Patrick Whittle, David Sharp and Holly Ramer contributed to this report.