Dear Annie: The children are furious that we are thinking of selling the house and moving

Dear Ania: We have a house that is over 120 years old and we have spent a lot of time and money maintaining it because we love it. We finally have it the way we wanted, but it becomes too much for us. After much discussion, I finally convinced my husband to consider selling and moving, and he agreed. However, the problem concerns some members of our family.

We are thinking about moving an hour away to a small college town where our youngest daughter and her family live. They have one child and we would like to be closer to at least one grandchild so that we can be more involved in their lives. This daughter and her family are wonderful; they help us and we help them in return. It would be nice to live closer to them.

However, some other children and relatives make this situation difficult for us. Our oldest daughter, who lives in Texas with her two children, tells us that we shouldn’t move because we’ll lose our social life here. She even warned that if we moved, we might never see her children again.

Our son, who moves frequently, worries that he will be financially responsible if we ever need care. He thinks we should stay put to avoid future complications. There is also my sister and niece who also seem to have something to say and are discouraging us from moving.

We are over 60 years old, my husband still works and we enjoy good health. All we want is to make the decision that is right for us at this stage of life. Some of our friends and a few family members support our move, but we really want everyone to be happy for us and support our choice. – Two against one

Dear Two: Ultimately, the decision of where to move is up to you and your husband. Are your daughter’s concerns about your social life justified? Perhaps the best solution is to rent out your current home and rent a house in a new neighborhood for a year. If at the end of the year you miss your old home, you can always return to it. If not, you will know you have found your new home.

Try not to see it as a two-on-one. This automatically puts you in a victim position, which is not good for anyone involved. Instead, try to see it as a way of showing concern and wanting to protect both you and your husband, with the ultimate goal of seeing you happy.

“How can I forgive a cheating partner?” is now available! Annie Lane’s second anthology, featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available in paperback and e-book format. Visit for more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane at [email protected].