This is the most unexpected sign that someone is feeling suicidal

When you take a photo for the first time someone has suicidal thoughtsyou can imagine them crying, lying in bed, alone or in pain. Suicidal thoughts – i depression that may accompany it — often causes people to feel deeply sad or apathetic, which can lead to many of these scenarios.

However, there is another sign of suicidal thoughts that may be unexpected or confusing at first: a person with a mental health condition suddenly acts out Very happy or carefree. While this may seem like a good sign, it can actually be disturbing.

How can appearing happy and carefree be a warning sign for suicide?

Here’s the bottom line: if a person with a mental health condition suddenly seems happy and relaxed, it may be because they have made a decision to die by suicide. As a result, they are relieved by two things: the knowledge that they will no longer suffer, and the fact that they can stop debating this decision with themselves. At this point and for this person, death is the only answer.

“Ultimately, we need to look at suicide as a health issue that involves a lot of pain,” she said Doreen Marshallvice president for mission engagement at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

“Despite this pain, people with suicidal thoughts may also be ambivalent about wanting to live or die,” she explained. “Thoughts of relieving pain can provide relief, much like the relief we feel when relieving physical pain.”

There is also another reason that may be important. “It is also possible that even if they are internally struggling with the decision, they are masking what they really feel inside in an attempt to prevent loved ones and mental health care providers from learning about their intention to die,” she said. Danielle Dellaquilaassociate therapist at Gateway to Solutions in New York. “That’s why it’s extremely important that we don’t stop assessing for suicide when we see a sudden improvement in mental health symptoms.”

People with suicidal tendencies they deal with different brain chemistry, which puts them in a dark place and tunnel vision. Plus, this intense level of emotional pain can be blinding.

“For example, their brain functions differently in terms of judgment, concentration, how they perceive the world, problem-solving, etc.” Marshall said.

Differentiating between suicide, having a better day, and mania

But there has to be a limit, right? How do we know that a person’s happier attitude is a sign that they are planning to harm themselves, and not just that they are having a better day? Or compared to the “highs” and energy that mania brings in bipolar disorder?

First, consider the context. “If a person’s sudden, happy or carefree behavior escalates without explanation, it is a sign that you should investigate further and not be afraid to ask about change and ask directly about suicidal thoughts,” Marshall said. (More on this in a moment.)

Then look for other signs of mania and suicide and notice how they differ. “Manic episodes include other symptoms that are not necessarily typical of someone struggling with suicidal thoughts, such as grandiosity or conceit,” Dellaquila said. “People who are having a manic episode often appear excited, while a person who is about to commit suicide is more likely to appear calmer and happier, but not necessarily overjoyed.”

Some other indicators of mania include rapid speech, decreased need for sleep, and participation in more goal-directed activities, says Dr. Howard weeksmedical director at Pathlight Mood & Anxiety Center. “Mania is also a disturbing mental health condition and warrants referral to local mental health crisis centers,” he added. In other words, getting professional help can be a smart move.

Signs of suicideon the other hand, they are talk about suicide (e.g. “it would be better if I were dead”), seeking lethal means, giving away valuables, saying goodbye, and making it clear that you will never see anyone again. The signs may also vary from person to person. For example in Black women with depressionyou may notice more self-criticism and physical symptoms such as headaches, low libido, and gastrointestinal problems.

Week said sudden happiness or relief is not a sign that this will happen commonly see per se, in people experiencing suicidal ideation. “Nothing is ever ‘exact,’ and many patients who decide to attempt suicide do not experience this mood change,” Weeks said. “But this could be a warning sign.”

At the same time, the “masking” element that Dellaquila mentioned is also very real. “The key thing to remember is that many patients do not exhibit the seemingly classic symptoms of major depression,” Weeks noted. “They can mask hidden feelings very well and appear happy and content in discreet social situations.”

According to Marshall, here’s the bottom line: “Any sudden change in speech, mood, or behavior deserves our attention.”

How to help and support a person experiencing suicidal thoughts

You can – and should – ask if someone is planning to commit suicide. Although this question is uncomfortable to verbalize, it is extremely important. And it won’t “give the person ideas,” as you may (understandably) worry, according to studies in psychological medicine.

“They will often feel relieved that someone cares about their experience with suicidal thoughts,” Marshall explained.

Please remember that a person does not always to talk they plan to harm themselves, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need support.

“Even if they say no, if you are concerned, you can still encourage them to seek help from their own treatment team (therapist, psychiatrist, nurse, primary care physician) or encourage them to call 988,” Weeks said. (ICYMI, 988 is the new suicide hotline numberwhich you can call or send an SMS.)

In addition to asking directly, Marshall recommended staying calm, trusting your gut, reminding them that you love them, and assuring them that you hear what they’re saying and aren’t judging or downplaying it. She also advised reminding them that they are not alone in what they are going through, normalizing conversations about mental health and offering help to connect them to other resources.

“Take some time to calmly listen to what they have to say and ask some follow-up questions, such as how often they have suicidal thoughts or what they need to do to feel safe,” she added. “Also reassure them that help is available and that these feelings are a sign that it is time to talk to a mental health professional.” (Open Path Collective has a database of cheaper therapists). She then insisted on taking the person to the emergency room and staying with them to make sure they were cared for and safe.

While you are not the person’s medical caregiver, your role as a friend, family member or other loved one is also important, Weeks said: “You are not their mental health expert, but you can help them access care.”This article originally appeared on HuffPost.Dial 988 in the US to connect with National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Other international suicide hotlines can be found at befrienders.org. Trevor’s project, which provides suicide prevention support and resources for LGBTQ youth is 1-866-488-7386.