“I need to get over this,” says woman who accuses a Manitoba priest of sexual abuse in the 1970s.

Warning: This story contains allegations of sexual assault and discussion of suicide.

Shelley Trubiak says she suffered in silence for 52 years, but decided two years ago she could no longer do so after she began to be haunted by memories of abuse from a priest she says she experienced growing up in her small home. communities in western Manitoba.

Trubiak, now 66, was turned over to the RCMP in 2022, sparking a two-year investigation that led to an arrest warrant being issued in August for Constantin Turcoane, who was 81 at the time.

The retired priest was charged with rape and sexual intercourse with a person under 14 after Trubiak alleged that he sexually assaulted her in the early 1970s when she was 12 and a parishioner at his church in Lennard, Man.

“I was scared and scared – I’ve been through this my whole life,” Trubiak, who now lives in Saskatchewan, told CBC News this week. “I have to recover from this (and) this is the only way I can.

“I just want to tell my story.”

None of the allegations against Turcoane have been tested in court. No trial date has been set for his charges.

Turcoane’s lawyer told CBC News his client denies the allegations and will plead not guilty if the case goes to trial. I don’t want to comment further because the case is in court.

The retired priest, who lived in Regina at the time, turned himself in to police in August after the charges were brought against him and was released from custody.

In the early 1970s, Turcoane served as a priest at the Romanian Orthodox Church of St. Elijah in Lennard, a small community near the border with Saskatchewan and about 300 kilometers northwest of Winnipeg.

The Canadian Orthodox History Project website says Turcoane worked with the parish in 1970-71.

Trubiak said she remembers Turcoane moving in with Lennard in the winter of 1969, but doesn’t recall talking to him outside of Mass until the summer of 1970.

She said she and her friends were playing hide and seek in the cemetery behind the church when the priest approached her and started talking to her. She claims he grabbed her chest.

“I didn’t even have breasts then and he held me so tightly. He was choking me,” Trubiak said. – I will never forget this.

Trubiak alleges that Turcoane frequently engaged in unwanted touching and other sexual activity at church and at home, where she was sometimes babysitting his daughter.

“He always said, ‘Oh, your father loves you, so it’s good, it’s fine. “Father loves you,” she said.

“He took my life, my childhood”

Trubiak claims the priest told her to keep quiet and not reveal the alleged sexual abuse between them.

A year later, she said she overheard her mother talking to another church member about complaints made about Turcoane’s involvement in other alleged abuses. Then she decided to tell her mother about it.

Ultimately, the priest was removed from the church.

Still, Trubiak stated that she felt like no one in the area believed her and her family felt isolated.

With little support, she said she began to think she deserved what happened to her. Later she tried to take her own life, she added.

“Most children have nice memories, good memories. I have terrible childhood memories,” Trubiak said. “He took my life and my childhood.”

Her life spiraled downwards and she turned to drugs, alcohol and sex to numb the pain, she added.

She ran away from home many times, sometimes for months at a time, as she tried to cope during her teenage years, including after giving birth at the age of 16.

Trubiak says that although the memories of the violence never left her mind, she learned to deal with them through counseling.

In 2016, she moved to Saskatchewan to care for her dying mother and began struggling with flashbacks.

“I suffered a lot,” she said. “It’s like being poisoned. I need to get it out.”

Introducing the choice for survivors: expert

Experts say that very often people who have experienced violence share their stories many years or even decades after the fact.

“When someone has experienced a violation, such as sexual assault, where a person’s choice and consent has been taken away, they regain that when they can decide to choose their own path,” said Kara Neustaedter, who oversees the program at Klinic Community Health in Winnipeg. that helps victims of sexual abuse.

Neustaedter said coming out is ultimately a choice, not a responsibility, and people have different reasons for sharing their experiences.

RCMP told CBC News they haven’t heard from anyone else claiming they were molested by Turcoane since the allegations were made in August, but additional witnesses in the Trubiak case have since given statements to police, helping with the investigation.

In the meantime, Trubiak hopes that sharing her story publicly will help other victims of sexual abuse come forward.

“You don’t have to carry these ugly things to your grave,” she said. “Please come forward, not just for me, but for other women.”

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Anyone who has been a victim of sexual violence can get help through crisis lines and local support services Government of Canada website or Canadian Ending Violence Association Database. If you are in immediate danger or concerned for your safety or the safety of others nearby, call 911.