Buy Pumpkins in October and 4 more money lessons from Homer Simpson

It’s October, which means the leaves are changing color, temperatures are dropping and football is in full swing. According to Homer Simpson, this also means that it is time to invest in pumpkins, but not to make money from them.

Homer, one of the most iconic characters in television history, is the family patriarch on FOX (NOV) “The Simpsons” – the longest-running American primetime television series (36 seasons). He is also an investor, although not a very bright one.

Here are some of Homer’s classic approaches to money and investing over the course of over 770 episodes.

The pinnacle of pumpkin investing

The 1995 episode “Homer vs. Patty and Selma” begins at Moe’s Tavern, where Homer is handing out cigars.

When asked about his generosity, Homer replies, “I invested in pumpkins this year. Their prices rose throughout October. And I have a feeling they’ll peak around… January. And boom, then I’ll make money!”

Homer – apparently unaware of the increase in pumpkin sales since it’s Halloween – loses his entire investment and has to borrow money from his twin sisters-in-law, Patty and Selma, who make his life miserable.

$20 can buy a lot of peanuts

In the 1993 episode “Boy Scoutz ‘N the Hood”, Homer reaches under the couch in search of a peanut. Instead, he finds a $20 bill and is disappointed, leading to one of his many conversations with the brain.

Homer: “Oh, $20… I wanted a peanut!”
Homer’s Brain: “Twenty dollars can buy a lot of peanuts!”
Homer: “Explain how.”
Homer’s Brain: “Money can be exchanged for goods and services.”
Homer: “Woo-hoo!”

Homer then trips on a peanut and falls.

A $20 bill flies out the window and is eventually found by his son Bart and Bart’s friend Milhouse, who spend it on a syrupy “Super Squishy” at the Kwik-E-Mart. (The boys go out for a spoonful of sugar, and the next morning Bart discovers that he has signed up for the geeky Junior Campers. Homer later sees Bart in his uniform reading a book and – always supportive – says, “Well, if it’s not the leader of the hotdog patrol, upgrading in nerd classes.”)

Four-day weekend!

In the 1994 episode “Lisa’s Rival”, Homer and Bart discover that 500 pounds of sugar have been spilled all over the road from an overturned truck. Homer throws it into a trunk and decides to sell it directly to consumers, even though his daughter Lisa complains that there are “nails and broken glass” in the sugar. (To which Homer replies, “Those are the prizes!”)

Homer quits his job at the nuclear power plant and goes door to door trying to sell his sugar supplies – oddly enough, he chooses a bus instead of a car. He has little success, which leads to a huge exchange with his wife, Marge.

Homer: “And you didn’t think I’d make any money. I found a dollar while I was waiting for the bus.” Marge: “When you ‘earned’ that dollar, you lost $40 because you didn’t go to work. The factory called and said if you don’t come in tomorrow, don’t bother coming in on Monday.”
Homer: “Woo-hoo! A four-day weekend!”

I hope “down” means “up”

In the 2001 episode “HOMЯ”, Homer exchanges his life savings and invests in a company called Animotion.

Homer excitedly watches the local news and sees anchor Kent Brockman presenting the daily stock report.

Brockman: “Animotion moved up eight…”
Homer: “YES!”
Brockman: “…after I dropped 75 points this morning.”
Homer: “Oh, I hope ‘dipping’ means ‘up’ and ’75’ means ‘200.’

Brockman immediately adds that Animotion “has filed for super-duper bankruptcy, which is terrible news for the company’s sole shareholder, Homer Simpson.”

Tomac

In the 1999 episode “EIEI-(Annoyed Grunt)”, Homer works on a farm growing a plutonium-enriched plant called “Tomacco”, a hybrid of tomato and tobacco. The product tastes terrible – “It tastes like grandma!” blissfully unaware second-grader Ralph Wiggum, says – but it’s very addictive.

The product’s success catches the attention of Laramie Cigarettes executives, who offer Homer $150 million for the rights to Tomacco. Homer declines the offer and demands $150 *billion* dollars, but ends up getting nothing because Tomacco-dependent animals devour the crops.