Dear Annie: Because I was never good enough for my mother, I was relieved when she died

Dear Ania: How does a daughter come to terms with the emotional trauma of being a scapegoat by her narcissistic mother? For years I wasn’t “good enough.” I was avoided from family events and honestly, I was relieved after my mother died.

No wonder – I was excluded from her will. Over the years, I realized that the real turning point was when I rejected family vacations. Is giving up contact a necessary step towards healing and how can I fully enjoy the freedom that comes with ending such a toxic relationship? — Broken but healing

Dear Broken But Healing: I am so sorry for the pain you have experienced. Being the daughter of a narcissistic mother and being cut off from family events is really painful.

Being excluded from her will is painful, but as you realized, the real pain came when she rejected you from her family vacation. This refusal was about more than money; it was about feeling loved by your mother. Realizing this is an important part of healing because you can focus on your emotional well-being rather than material things.

Surround yourself with friends and support groups as you mourn the relationship you always dreamed of but could never have with your mom.

Send your questions to Annie Lane at [email protected].